A Random Image

Archive for February, 2008

 
|| February 19, 2008 || 10:54 pm || Comments (2) ||

se·nes’cence n.

Confesssion: When I tell people that I miss my mother, I am not alluding to the geographical distance. What I am really saying is that I miss the mother I knew pre-illness. That woman was whip-smart and redefined for many a human being what a female should be. She was amazing in her capability of heart and her reserve of boundless determination.

Overall, her sense of humor hasn’t changed much, and I’m thankful for that. It reminds me, it helps me not to forget that what I recall of her was indeed an actuality and not some fancy shellac-work of my memory.

Now, on to part two….the fear that blooms wild, stubborn and unruly at the center of the previous confession: I am terribly afraid of being the possessor of a body that would, as I age, completely turn on me. A body that makes a mockery of past capability and reason, like a polaroid image degraded over time: Colors blanch and lines blur and you have the basic form and idea of something, but it doesn’t quite pop the way it did on the first day it came into being and you beheld it all sharp and bold. I could not care one whit if my skin wrinkles beyond all sensible boundaries; the lines blurring is of no great concern to me. I want to keep my color forever, though, to be smart of mind and strong of voice until God tucks down his hand from heaven to dance me on up there.

Yeah, I can deal with most all my outsides transforming and dulling, but I never want my eyes or my synapses to follow suit. I want to be in the game every second possible.

 
|| February 19, 2008 || 4:15 pm || Comments (0) ||

All in a day’s work.

Today I had a partially immobile patient who kept apologizing about ‘how slow I am’. I continually reassure her when she is here, because it’s not like she is not trying. I got no kinds of patience for people that don’t make some sort of effort.

So as she was climbing the stairs, she apologized about two times per stair, which meant a total of six apologies over the course of about four feet of distance. I kept saying things along the lines of “You’re fiiiiine.” and “Take your time, we’re good!” When she ultimately got to the top stair and grabbed hold of the walker I stood there waiting with, she issued one more apology.

I said, “Sue, if I wanted you to move any faster, I’d strap rockets to your butt.” Tess, who was –unbeknownst to me– behind her, popped over her shoulder and exclaimed, “And I’ll strike the match to light ‘em!” enthusiastically.

The other patients waiting in the lobby giggled and hawed over that one for a minute.

 
|| February 18, 2008 || 12:38 am || Comments (2) ||

oh, pee ess:

I cut my hair off on Saturday. Dang skippy.

 
|| February 18, 2008 || 12:26 am || Comments (0) ||

Gospel music is pouring.

Did you hear that? That’s Fate giggling.

She’s chewing gum and driving far too fast in a 1963 Impala, windows down and head bobbing along to a crazy backwater AM station (on which a Primitive Baptist preacher was spitting and screaming only five minutes ago).

With her free hand, she’s scooping up the rushing air and dropping it neatly to the ground before grabbing another handful. Five syllable words like enthusiasm circle in her head and she’s pushing the gas pedal harder, nailing it to the floorboard, the arch of her foot hard and inviting.

So inviting, in fact, that I’d willingly offer up my neck to it.

Oh…you too?

 
|| February 17, 2008 || 1:05 am || Comments (1) ||

The parts I recall were stupendous.

Last night must have been a great one. I know this because I slept a thick and dreamless sleep, I’ve been unable to get enough water to slake my thirst today, and I just opened up Blogger to find that I wrote reams of gorgeous words about things like bear attacks and my father’s many adulterous affairs. Gorgeous, poorly-formatted words. I reckon even Drunk Beyond Oblivion cannot overtake the notion of criminality in hitting publish on something I’m not ready for teh world to see.

I was all, “I logged in to blog last night?” and then I saw that no, I indeed did not. It was at four this morning.

It all started as an innocent shopping trip. After I bought the bakery cake and had the bakery boy write Eat Me! on it in The Best Color Ever Invented…

bakery boy
:: photographic proof ::

…well, things just sort of got ‘wacky’. Maybe that’s all you folks need to know.

 
|| February 13, 2008 || 3:41 pm || Comments (1) ||

er.

Out of all the profiles on MySpace, how do people like this find mine? More importantly though, what motivates them to want *me* as a link?

Somebody needs to send them notice: It’s pretty lame when you’re every bit as creepy as what you’re hollering about.

 
|| February 11, 2008 || 11:51 am || Comments (0) ||

All my geeks are far awaaaaay!

Today’s dinosaur comic made me laugh SO HARD. Too bad I don’t have any sufficiently geeky friends nearby, because I’d throw a party just so I could put ‘Come to my Sufficiently Advanced Party!’ on the invites.

*sigh* Just another missed opportunity for personal fulfillment and –as a result of said fulfillment– happiness.