A Random Image
 

Jett Superior laid this on you on || March 3, 2008 || 11:28 pm

1% inspiration, 99% perspicacion

Struck with an idea and sure that Maxim would appreciate its novelty as much as me, I booked it back to the bedroom with his ice cream.

“Somebody,” I declared, underlining the word with the spoon I’d brought at his specific request (like I’m too feeble to remember that Oh yes, CromagMom, utensils accompany all food in this house.), “some chocolatier somewhere, should make cockroach-shaped chocolates and call them (ARE YOU READY, OH INTERNETSES?) Chocroachestm.

“Oh merciful Lord, isn’t that GREAT?”

“THINK OF IT, MAXIM,” I reveled in my newfound glory, “JUST THE GOTH KIDS ALONE WILL PURCHASE THEM BY THE CASE LOTS!”

He looked at me sidelong and –having just shoveled in his first spoonful of Cinnamon Buns– let his eyebrows do the talking. Their communique was punctuated with an exacting eyeroll. Just in case, you know, you thought the brows had been kidding. Those damn brows, always hamming for effect.

“You know what? I believe I’m gonna take this one to the People Of Cyberia and see what THEY think! I bet they’ll lovvvvve Chocroachestm! I’m gonna tell them that, ‘HA! See? Maxim thought it was laaaame. I knew true genious genius only exists on the nets0r!’”

And at the exact same time as I was saying, “….aaaaand, I bet they won’t roll their eyes at my idea, EYE-THURRRR.” I am full-on Delta Dawn when you get my back up even just a little. Thus, eyethurrrr, which we all know translates down to a familiar adverb-type word. Anyway, just as I was saying that, Maxim opened his mouth and said, “Well, don’t you forget to tell your Internet Peopletm (you turkeys are apparently a whole race, see?) that I accompanied that with a healthy eyeroll.” and gave me the hmph face. I don’t have to explain this one to you. If you’ve ever been in a relationship for more than ten or so minutes, then you’ve seen that particular face dance itself across your beloved’s countenance.

So here I am: Chocroachestm, yay or nay?

5 worked it out »

  1. Coelecanth 3.4.2008

    Oh yay, yay, yay a thousand times yay. Mind you, i’ll eat the anonymous grey lump found in the bottom of my pocket just on the off chance its chocolate.

     
  2. skillzy 3.4.2008

    I’d buy em and gobble em up! Be sure to add some crunchies to the mix for authenticity.

     
  3. Shamrock 3.4.2008

    I like the idea but I think it’s sort of been done? I bought these for my son about two years ago. You can pretty this up if you like: http://www.candywarehouse.com/cockroaches.html

     
  4. Jettomatika 3.4.2008

    No, man. My Chocroachestm would have no pansy-assed gummy parts.

    Completely chocolate, more realistic-looking, and hella-hella more expensive.

    I am intrigued at the ‘lay eggs and nest in your mouth’ bit, though. The sheer audacity of it makes me shiver.

     
  5. Shamrock 3.5.2008

    Oh, I see. You want yours to be high class chocroaches, like Godiva?

     

RSS feed for comments on this post.

(you know you want to)