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Jett Superior laid this on you on || July 24, 2008 || 5:54 pm

hey homes, what up?

Some days I tag along with Tess on our generous two-hour lunch break. Some days she tags along with me. Today I had plans to run home to the studio and cram in some time there putting a coat of this on something, sanding something else, and gluing that to another this entirely. You’re following my creative process, right? Right.

My studio is hideously cluttered, because I’m one of those Creative Types you hear so much about. It looks a sweet hot mess in there,

My studio, she is a mess.
:: my studio, she is a mess ::

but if you ask me where any single, teeny widget or baublething is, I can point straight to it, savantlike, enabling you to insert your hand into the rubble and emerge triumphantly with the specific bit. A mess usually unnerves me, so I typically go in to do a complete sweep and ’straighten’ it once a month, but that poses a genuine problem: I run across this thing and that thing and HEY! there’s another thing and before I know it, ideas are all over one another, panting and rucking up skirts and ready to get their art on. You people should be in my head. It’s vile and amazing and trucked-up sexy all at once.

So I went to the house aiming to get something done, but really all I ended up doing was getting my Dremel tool out to do some detail work on a piece. This lasted all of twenty minutes before Tess became a distraction, what with Kathy Griffin (who is of course a massive hero to all suppressed women everywhere. and to the over-exuberant ones. and to ones that aren’t afraid to say the word ‘cunt’ proudly. cunt, Cunt, CUNT.) being on Bravo and all.

Tess and I watch Bravo programming on a regular basis to keep in touch with our inner gay men. It makes us bodacious, or something. No, seriously. If you don’t follow my Twitter feed, then you may not know that a gay man at the flower market last month told me quite enthusiastically that I am Bodacious. He said it just like that, with a cappillul bee and everything. I’ve been called Bodacious exactly three times in my life, and each time I was in love with the fact that I’d been thusly labeled.

So Tess and I were being bad, smoking (*gasp*!) a cigarette and watching Ms. Kathy and pinging one-liners off of one another. Tess is quick with a snappy comeback, and quite clever, so it’s fun to back-and-forth with her unabashedly at times. So we were doing this when Tessa became mesmerized with a Nubian goddess on the tellyvee, and this exchange occurrred:

TESS: Oh. Gaaaahhhd. How fabulous is she?

JETT: She’ll do in case of hard times.

TESS: I want to get extensions, and I want to wear them like an afro.

JETT: Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you something!

TESS: What?

JETT: YOU WERE BORN WHITE.

And she was, like cracker-white. Lived in the middle of a farm community, had no interaction with any black people whatsoever until she’d graduated high school and moved to Birmingham for college. So I’m always amused at her lusty desire to be a black woman.

I’ll admit, though, when she gets on the dance floor, the results are what could be dubbed ‘not bad for a white girl’.

2 worked it out »

  1. Jettomatika 7.28.2008

    boyyyyy,

    you say ‘cunt’ in a post and nobody wants to touch it with a ten-foot pole.

    squee!

     
  2. tumbleweed 7.29.2008

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