Let’s get a little levity up in here, bitches.
Sometimes I get kind of pretty dang morbid in my head, but two-handsful of hours, one LUSH bath, several glasses of wine, a self-administered pedicure and one borrowed (I’m pretty sure I’m not going to give it back, however) sleeping pill later, my head is in a better place and I’ve got my cast-iron boy panties* on again. Sometimes a breaker flips on my insides, and thankfully that’s not very often.
In short, we here at Superior Industries appreciate your patience while we reworked the circuitry over the last couple of weeks.
This morning I’ve seen two sorta older adult parents who are charged with taking care of their grown children –and by extension, their grandchildren– because of accident-related catastrophic illness. I’m not here to tell their stories, because ay) you people can only stand so much heartbreak in one entry and b) I like to keep you fuckers on your toes.
So the last one that comes in, he is one of my favorite patients of all and, were I some twenty years older and widowed, I would take him on in a red hot minute as one of My Older Man Friends. I say ‘one of’ because I’ve decided that when I’m a spirited old lady, I will well and truly ’spread the love around’ and sample off as much of the (rickety, available, motile) goods as possible. After all, your melatonin drops and you get less sleep (AND HOW ON EARTH, I ask you, CAN YOU MAKE AN INSOMNIAC SLEEP LESS?? Oh, Mother Nature, you are so cruel). I’ll have all those fucking hours to fill and I doubt seriously that I will find just one single old man that can keep up with me and/or not bore me senseless. Er.
Great, I’ve just committed to actual words the fact that I envision myself as a geriatric whore.
So this man comes in, and I’m pretty dang jazzed about it because I haven’t seen him in about a minute. Also, near-about every other time he comes around, he’ll say, “Sing with me, Lark.” Or ‘Nightingale’. Or any one of a half-dozen birds associated with pleasant sounds. He’s part of a pretty renowned, touring gospel quartet and I just love his voice, a strong and clear and just immensely beautiful tenor lacking the nasally twang that lots in these parts are drenched in.
I go all afluttery when he asks me this, because I really, really love to sing and –even more than that– I love to sing with someone who knows what they are doing, who can step between notes with a savantlike ease and for whom intricate, smart harmonies are as instinctive as blinking or walking. This man has all this in spades, and he gets excited about singing every bit as much as I do. Bonus is that he is both affable and humble about his gift. And he has a terribly wicked-but-not-in-a-mean-way sparkle in those blue eyes of his.
PLUS, oh plus, he sings old-school gospel, and if any one of you knows even one little thing about me, it should be that I love-Love-ADORE some hymning it up. It is one of the only vestiges of my childhood Baptist faith (besides my acceptance of/wholesale adoration for Christ) to hang about into my heretical adult days.
Last time he was here, Tess was here too, and that’s a great thing, because that meant three-part harmony. Plus, Tessa and I do this crazy thing where we’ll drop in at the same time, but instinctively seek out opposing ends of the scale. See, she’s got a pretty broad range, I have a pretty broad range and we can each travel a grand staff pretty easily. It’s crazy: We can not have discussed it at all, but then I’ll start out high and she’ll start out low or vice-versa. Not once have we begun on the same exact pitch, and that is some kind of magic, let me tell you.
Especially in light of how many drunks we have thrown and how much bad metal and country has poured through our vocal chords.
So then, last time the songbird was here ready to pour forth melody, Tessa was as well and we got down with some Softly And Tenderly Jesus Is Calling and we made the little old ladies in the lobby weep –weeeeeep, I tell you!– with the way we three hung that last bit of phrasing: “Paar-don for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (beat)(beat, beat) and forrrrr me.” And we all smiled warmly at one another, taken with the moment. Even the Evil Old Broad That Sullies Up The Great Office Vibe sat there at her desk beaming. Who knew??
Welp, this time there was just me and him and a lobby devoid of patients and we hit a lick on The Old Rugged Cross, HotDoc coming to the top of the stairs to stand quietly and listen and grin wide, just like he always does.
When we finished up, we gave one another a neck-hug and I was just all warm and gooey in my sweet chocolate center. Thrilled enough, I couldn’t have asked for anything more, but that’s when he said to me, “You know, you put me in mind of Rosanne Cash when I hear you sing.”
I blushed, all you folk, I blushed. Blushing is not in my typical repertoire.
Crazy thing is, I heard that very thing once a couple of years ago. A bunch of us were all sitting around, throwing stuff out there. It was a little relaxed jam and Maxim followed me into the kitchen to retrieve beers for our guests.
“I figured out today who you remind me of when you sing,” he said to me, “I was listening to some Rosanne Cash on NPR and was surprised to realize I’d never heard the similarity before.” Of course I considered it high praise, because she is part of American Royalty, as it were, and because I’ve been a huge fan of all the Cash folk as far back as I can remember.
My singing partner today got the wheels in my head turning, and I started to compile of list of all the people or characters who I’ve been told “Hey, you remind me of _______!” or “She/he reminds me of you.” about. There have been lots, but I got busy after the first five, so I reserve the right to add to this list as I see fit:
Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Lois from Malcolm In The Middle
Rachel from Friends
Jane from Daria
Belinda Carlisle of the GoGos
So this also gets me to wondering, who have all of you been told you put someone in mind of? Conversely, who do you frame me up as in your precious little Muffinass noggin?
* they have sweet little blue and green stripes, you should see them
18 worked it out »