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Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 30, 2008 || 3:48 pm

wing-ed feet

Scout told me last week that she wants to go on a mission trip to Venezuela next summer. Somehow, when she first said the country’s name, my brain parsed it as ‘Nicaragua’ and the hysterical unreasonable part of me recoiled violently and sort of began hissing or something crazy like that.

Then, as she kept talking, ‘Venezuela’ magically morphed from ‘Nicaragua’ back to ‘Venezuela’ and I attempted to listen in earnest.

My kid is taking French, practices speaking it conversationally (just how many times can I ask her what time it is or if she knows that the pencil is yellow or hey, where is the library located, miss? before she’s on to me, before she knows that I let two solid years of French instruction slither out of my consciousness, supplanted by things like the due dates of bills and ever-shifting grocery lists?) with me, and she wants to go to South America, for Chrissakes. I told her ass to take Spanish! I tollllld her!

MY BLUE-EYED, FAIR-SKINNED, PATENTLY GRINGA DAUGHTER WANTS TO GO TO SOUTH AMERICA WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE I KNOW NOTHING UNDER THE HEAVENS ABOUT. Well, except that they all go to church with her grandmother, my former mother-in-law, whose prissy and judgmental guts I loathe with a certain, key intensity. How unchristian of me, I know.

The world is a mess and everyone despises Americans and, stupidly, I will let her go. I will not have it on my conscience that I stifled her adventurous, expansive, curious and empathetic heart.

But I’m equipping her with muddy brown contacts and one fuck of a spray tan before she leaves. There will be no ifs, ands or buts on that one.

7 worked it out »

  1. Geek 9.30.2008

    Any American experiencing what another country is like is a good thing on so many levels. Think of it as your contribution to future foreign policy/straightening out your country’s reputation. :)

     
  2. Jettomatika 9.30.2008

    Part of the reason I’ll let her go.

    It’s not the first passport stamp she’ll have earned. She’s been to a handful of fern nations thus far and plans on living abroad when she graduates.

    We are white trash with aspirations, we is.

     
  3. derfina 10.1.2008

    Dye her hair, too! Venezuela is actually not as third world as you might imagine-my husband worked there for years with no problems (other than his xenophobic “These M-F’ers” whenever they didn’t do something the ‘right’ way). You rock as a parent for letting her go!

     
  4. scott 10.1.2008

    Too pretty. Can’t go. No ifs and ands and such. Sorry.

    Hello, Jett.

     
  5. Undomestic Diva 10.1.2008

    She’s gorgeous. Don’t let her go.

     
  6. that girl 10.10.2008

    Yes, you have to let her go..experience is wonderful. But great idea on the contacts -

     
  7. Laggin 10.13.2008

    I found you after following cii and Carolyn here. I’ll be back.

    My Eldest, who appears to be about the same age as your daughter, also wants to do the Venezualian mission trip thing. But my daughter is taking LATIN. Even less useful, conversationally, than French.

     

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