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Jett Superior laid this on you on || October 27, 2008 || 8:20 pm

learning curve

Out of sixty some-odd people, two had a markedly good hum, two had a noticeably bad one. I wasn’t particularly listening hard where all the others were concerned. Sure, I thought a couple-three of them were nitwits, but I trusted that the sinister and well-paid cabal of fancypants attorneys ringing the table would get to to them without my having to say a word.

One of those good ones was up on the chopping block, teetering toward the ‘maybe’ column on their list of jurors to strike.

“Hey, do I have any sort of say-so here?” A couple of them looked a little taken aback, and one of them met me with enthusiasm.

“Sure! Tell me what you’ve got.”

“Okay, goofy-sounding or not, I often go with my gut, and it rarely misdirects me. That guy should be on this jury. I have a really good feeling about him.

One lawyer spoke up, “We have him flagged as a disability recipient.”

“Yeah,” I said, “Which means he’ll have intimate knowledge of true disability, and no sympathy for the trucked-up nonsense he’ll be hearing in there.”

Three of them nodded openly in agreement, and one went so far as to say that he’d had the same good feeling with regard to the man in glasses on the front row; he was the one who had rested a cane against his right thigh and spoken as if he was possessed of a couple good brain cells.

During the formalities (later on in the day, in another room again) I was glad to hear that he made the cut on both sides. The other one, a stoic-faced guy in his mid-twenties, did not. Things were flying at a pretty fast clip, and I did not have the benefit of the diagrams that the nine attorneys surrounding me did. The one who had agreed with me earlier sat a little to my right.

I passed him a note. “Is the disabled retired cop gone yet?” This made him laugh silently, even as he nodded in affirmation. The disabled retired cop had given me a tinny taste in my mouth. The other guy who’d felt wrong was gone early on.

So yeah, we now have a jury. Let the madness commence! I can’t wait until this whole shebang is over and done with, so that I can NAME NAMES and MOCK THE UNBEARABLE STUPIDITY that has come of my collision with the tractor lo those forty-two months ago.

(also, I have a terrible headandchestcold; I’m old-man crotchety and even less willing to entertain the bullshit shenanigans of humanity than usual….perfect weather for a lawsuit!)

4 worked it out »

  1. cIII 10.28.2008

    Cry havoc and let slip the Dogs of War….!

  2. Laggin 10.28.2008

    Ah, the fine science…I mean vodoo…of jury selection. A/k/a a crap shoot on your life.

    At the same time, it’s the best system in existence. I do believe that. Still… feels a lot like gambling.

  3. Coelecanth 10.28.2008

    How much info do you get on each potential juror? In Canada all the lawyers are allowed to know is your name and your occupation. They aren’t allowed to ask candidates any questions at all. As far as I could see it ends up being selection based entirely on appearances. And that isn’t prejudice how exactly?

    Anyway, may your sharks savage their sharks to the point that actual justice is done.

  4. chris robinson 10.29.2008

    Don’t forget to do your best Al Pacino when you get to testify. Or Nicholson.


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