A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || November 21, 2010 || 8:41 pm

Alright all ye of the proud clan of Muffinassery, it’s time once again to slap a hook on something wondrous or heinous, call it a Christmas tree ornament, and send it to a complete stranger.

It’s pretty simple. You tell me you want to participate. You purchase or make an ornament. I pair you with a swap partner. You get your ornament in the post to your swap partner by the deadline (which, by the way, is a generous 11 December this year).

For those of you that are all, “I AM ANONYMOUS ON THESE HERE INTERNETS! I AIM TO STAY ANONYMOUS! (I never get to have any of the funs! pout-pout)” I say in return, “Nay children, thou must nottest worry thine delicately-scented little noggins.” This is because you have two options. Option The One says that I will not match your online persona to your realpersons name. The e-mail will say something along the lines of, ‘Your swap partner is Jeremiah Downtrodden. Here is his address.’ If Jeremiah Downtrodden wants to tell you that he actually goes by the name Dooce on the internet, that’s his privilege, but that information will not come from me. Option The Two says that you can just mail your ornament to me and I will remove all traces of your address from the packaging and forward it on to your swap partner with my address on it instead. I did both things last year; option one was just automatic, and option two was opt-in. A couple of people utilized it, and can tell you that they are still safely ensconced in their secret lairs and no one from the big ole messy internets has showed up to fuck up their day because of me.

Now for the fine print:

I’m limiting this year’s swap to no more than forty people. I will tell you that I put out the call on Twitter a couple weeks ago and about half those spots are already filled, so you need to speak up pretty quickly if you want to be included. I’m putting all the names in the hat next weekend sometime, so I’d like to close the call for participants this coming Wednesday night.

As stated above, you either make or buy your ornament. I myself prefer handmade ones because oh, I dunno, you may end up with something like velvet squids (!), which is what I got last year. Leading up to the velvet squids, however, I got a series of texts from the spouse of the velvet squid maker, and some of them went like this:
“Ummmm….Jenna wants to know if all the materials expended in the attempt can be counted toward the twenty dollars.”
“Hey, do you have a blind person that you can pair Jenna with?”
….which made said squids all the more awesome when I just so happened to draw Jenna’s name as my sender.

Whether handmade or purchased, your ornament must have a retail value of no less than seven dollars and no more than twenty dollars. This means that if you choose to make an ornament, you would charge at least seven dollars for it were you to sell it on the open market. I would never have thought to place a minimum value on this, except that one time I was involved in an ornament swap wherein I purchased this gorgeous enameled egg and made this elaborate padded storage box replete with delicate bird’s nest atop it because I was so excited at the notion of surprising a complete stranger. AND, (here is the part where I sound like an ungrateful git, but I give not a fuck, because it was completely janky of someone to do this to anyone, not just me) in return I got a regular old manila envelope with a ninety-seven cent stuffed snowman ornament from Wal-Mart (I know this because I had seen them there that year) that looked for all intents and purposes like a dog’s chew toy. WOE, all you folk, just WOE. So, to level the playing field: Seven to twenty bucks. The point, really, is just to bless someone, to hit them with the element of surprise between now and December 11th.

If you’re on the fence about wanting to jump into something like this, I need to point you to Bejewell’s furiously hilarious post about last year’s swap. That ornament exchange¬† was the test run, the one where I didn’t know if I’d make it an annual thing or not. Bejewell is a lot of the reason that I decided to do this thing again. This year, Beej and people like her are participating. There is no finer selling point for and an endeavor than to have spirited, silly persons involved. If you want to join us, then drop a brief message (“I’m in!!”) into the comments on this post. Don’t forget to fill in your e-mail addy. You’ll hear from me with specifics in the next week.

32 worked it out

  1. Laurie 11.21.2010

    I am so obedient. :)

  2. Kristine 11.21.2010

    Just in case…I want in!
    And I’m just brainstorming here, but what do you consider the value of a cat? ‘Cuz, pussy on a string, eh?! Amirite?! (Plus, I kinda hate my cat, so double win!)

  3. Brynne 11.21.2010

    DO WANT!

    But.. BUT! Big, big BUT.

    Starting Thursday, I will be outside of the continental Yoo Ess of Ay until December 6th so– pfft. Maybe I something tropical-y ornament-y? Or I wait until next year. :\

  4. Mr Lady 11.21.2010

    Raises hand. Appreciates your understanding of her paranoia.

  5. Cheryl 11.21.2010

    In in in! Heehaw!

  6. mommymae 11.21.2010

    yippee! i’m in!

  7. Jett Superior 11.21.2010

    I can’t believe none of you are referencing the truly awful banner I made. It is crafted of tacky and also love.

    @Brynne: Whatever kind of ornament you’d like. Of course you’re in, bah!

  8. leel 11.21.2010

    i’m in :) yippee!

  9. Miss Grace 11.21.2010

    This is so-as you have my email address, cuz I’m in. And all.

  10. kathy 11.21.2010

    i wanna i wanna so bad BUT the postage deadline for chrimbo to your parts was today :(
    so, if there is someone in Australasia you can pair me with then yes please!

  11. afteriris 11.22.2010

    Yes please!

  12. Jen (@dell0717 on the Twittah) 11.22.2010

    Ornament Swapsies 2010!!! I’m soooo in – yay! :) xx

  13. Jen (@dell0717 on the Twittah) 11.22.2010

    me again, with my work e-mail address. i swear i know how this internet thing works, but at 5.00 am, i don’t work so well!

  14. BEEJ 11.22.2010

    It is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. I’m gonna burn this bitch DOWN

  15. Jett Superior 11.22.2010

    @kath: I have one who I can’t remember whether she’s a Brit or an Aussie…I’ll check and if they’re from downundah I won’t blind draw you guys; you can be auto-partners.

    If not, then guess who your partner will be?? >:o)

  16. MidLyfeMama 11.22.2010

    Verily I say unto thee I DO wish to participate!

  17. Angi 11.22.2010

    I’m in!!! Please and thank you. I’ll begin my search for the “perfect” ornament almost immediately.

  18. Melissa 11.22.2010

    I’m in, thanks to Jen (@dell0717)!

  19. Chibi Jeebs 11.22.2010

    Man, I was already in because the prospect of a legitimate excuse to shop at my favourite time of the year PLUS sending happy mail is GOLDEN. But after reading Bejewell’s post I’m sold for NEXT YEAR, too. Awesome. :)

  20. Melissa 11.22.2010

    I’m in! This gives purpose to my unplanned and expensive trip to the craft store on Friday.

  21. T- 11.22.2010

    Yeah, I’m in.

    I’m awesome like that.

  22. Silver 11.22.2010

    Hey! I’m here! am i too late? did i miss it? dang twitter.

  23. Jett Superior 11.22.2010

    Welcome everyone!

    @Silver: Don’t panic! You got here in plenty of time, whee.

  24. velocibadgergirl 11.23.2010

    I tried to sign up via Twitter a few weeks ago, but never heard back and thus am assuming I didn’t get in :( If there’s still space, I’d love to participate!

  25. Cherie Beyond 11.23.2010

    Well, I on-the-fenced this for so long that all the spots may be gone. But if not, add me in, please, milady. If they are all gone, I promise not to pout too mightily, as it ’tis all my fault.

  26. Jett Superior 11.23.2010

    @velocibadgergirl: That was the prelim call; since it originated with Twitter folk last year I started there again this year. You’re in, no worries!

    @Cherie: You’re golden. There are just under ten spots left, even accounting for people who haven’t chimed in here just yet.

  27. yknot 11.23.2010

    It’s ON like Donkey Kong! BTW: I have a rather awesome collection of said Christmas Ornaments, Many OLD,Hand- Made,Hand-Blown & Decorated ones. I will either choose from amongst them or go out to the Studio & produce one for the Occasion. The Squids sound Cool!

  28. Topher Carter 11.24.2010

    Give it to me, mama.

  29. EarnestGirl 11.26.2010

    you & your blessings and truly terrible (-ly funny) Santa up there, you have put visions of sparkling sugarplums and dancing bedazzled pompoms in my head. You have made me wonder for days & days now if I might be able to commit to the thing that tortures me most: another item on the pile of good intentions in my dining room. The pile that breathes on my neck at 3 a.m. because I have not yet mailed that present or sent that box to that charity and then I am awake at 3 a.m with gluey breath on my neck and I can’t get back to sleep so I worry some more about things like bills and the photo albums-to-be.

    So how about this: this year I am in it for you, so I don’t disappoint anyone else. Maybe, if a random ornament or a green & red sequined nipple decoration arrives in the mail at Jett’s house it will even out the enameled egg. (notice I did not say make up for. I propose only balance. Not brilliance. And it might come in July.) Then we’ll see about next year.

  30. Jett Superior 11.26.2010

    Okay, I’m closing comments as of now. I’ll work on gathering addressses quick-smart so I can do pairings over the weekend.

    WOO! Go team. And stuff.


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