A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || April 14, 2011 || 11:25 pm

I can’t figure Schmutzie out. My daughter’s best friend is named Pooks (iunno. don’t even ask.) and I generally like his take on things, so I asked him what I should say about someone that I admire like crazy but can’t seem to get a solid bead on, who is very witty and well-written and has stellar taste in shoes. Pooks said to me, sage thing that he is, “You’re making this way too hard. Just tell her you think she’s boss as fuck.”  I wanted to say, “Pooks, you are a wise motherfucker,” but –as hard as it is to believe– even I have a (shakily-drawn, shallow) line, so I said, “Thank you for your insight, Pooks. Are you staying for dinner?”

Pee ess….Schmutzie is boss as fuck, you got that?

::: :: ::: :: ::: :: :::

Look, sometimes you ask for things, not knowing what you’ll really get. But you’re bold and you ask and no matter what turns up, at least you’re guaranteed a surprise, at least you you showed the temerity to open your mouth and speak.

That’s kind of what I did with this birthday carnival for myself. I asked people to compose something. It was awkward, so awkward, because e-mail after e-mail had all these lovely things about me when I was expecting a story or poem or song about who-knows-what. Some of them were so kind that I cringed when I posted them, sure that someone out there was rolling their eyes, going all, “WHAT A VAIN, VAIIIIIN JACKASS.” But I did it anyway, because they were so generous as to honor my request, and because one of my personal philosophies says to honor what is written. And then it struck me that I’m willing to hear bad things about myself, so I should be willing to hear good, as well. I’ve been robbing myself of that for a long time.

If you’re new around here, I’d like to say this to you:

Hello. I’m Jett. My life is a lot of things; it is overwhelming, fulfilling, stuffed to the seams, comfortable, colorful, taxing….but above and beyond any of those things, it’s fun. It’s a grand parade shot through with mournful alleys. I’ll try to sing so that the best of all of it manages to bounce off the clouds and rain delight onto your head.

If you’re old around here, I’d like to say this to you:

Hi there. You are so dear to me. I hope I’ve soaked your head in delight more times than you are able to count.

::: :: ::: :: ::: :: :::

The carnival’s over, kids. Grab hands and walk home together. I hope you won a prize. Give a word of greeting before you go.

17 worked it out »

  1. Jett Superior 4.15.2011

    FACT: This is a surprise giveaway. No one knew about it. This is the only announcement.

    FACT: If you’ve left a comment on any guest post during the carnival, then your name goes into the hat for a TACKY PACK.

    FACT: That includes this post, too.

    FACT: Multiple comments? Multiple entries. That’s fair.

    FACT: Winner picked Sunday or thereabouts, announced Monday or thereabouts.

  2. Angela 4.15.2011

    Oh my. This is So Awesome. I believe Schmutzie just walked away with the internet.

  3. Alexandra 4.15.2011

    I have LOVED your carnival, and I LOVE that you had the balls to ask for it.

  4. Alexandra 4.15.2011

    I have LOVED your carnival, and I LOVE that you had the balls to ask for it. And now I know it’s SchmUHtzie not SchmOOOtzie.

  5. Dana 4.15.2011

    As I wrote over on Schmutzie’s site, THAT was boss as fuck.
    Happy, happy 40th!

  6. Jett Superior 4.15.2011

    Angela: As we’d say here in the South, “She SHO deeyud.”

    Alexandra: Thank you, thank you. You have been sweet to tune in on the regular and offer commenty encouragement!

    Dana: THANK YOU! Pleased to make your acquaintance.

  7. schmutzie 4.15.2011

    Suh-weet! I like you people.

  8. elaine 4.15.2011

    shcmutzie, you are over the top adorable

  9. Cherie Beyond 4.15.2011

    I had to wait all day to hear this while watching people’s awed comments fly around about this from the screen of my speakerless (!!!!) work computer. But now I have finally had a chance to watch and…oh, lovely. Thank you, Ms. Schmutzie. Thank you.

    And thank YOU, Ms. Jett.

  10. leel 4.17.2011

    omg i still have tingles from the video/song/lyrics amazingness of it all. GO Schmutzie! You are a rock star!

    happy birthday (i know, it was long ago now) but this post deserved one last YAY YOU!

    keep it up sister. your less than 1/2 way done :)

  11. leel 4.17.2011

    ps. correction, because i am anal. above, your should be you’re.

    pps, if i visit, Pooks must be there.

  12. monstergirlee 4.17.2011

    Such a sweet voice! I love how the song is kind of like an old school fight song almost, very… hard to put a name on it but I loved the whole thing, thanks for sending me over here Schmutzie.

    Happy Birthday Jett, enjoy your day.

  13. Troutie 4.17.2011

    I want to do all my birthdays over.

  14. Cheryl 4.18.2011

    Again, I’m with Trout.

    Schmutzie is sheer awesomeness times a gazillion.

    It’s been such a blast celebrating your youness through the eyes of the interweb people I love and some I don’t even know.

    Happy Happy Happy!

  15. bejewell 5.1.2011


  16. René 5.4.2011

    Oh man, so good. Such a sweet voice, that Schmutzie.


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