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Posts Tagged ‘rife with swear words’

 
|| September 7, 2000 || 10:35 am || Comments (0) ||

It is now official. I am a certified MASTERMIND.

See my profile for yourself if you don’t believe me:

MASTERMIND
(Submissive Introvert Abstract Thinker )
.elizAbeth.
Like just 9% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this “scheming.” Don’t learn German.

Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader–you’ve definitely got the “vision” thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.

Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns.

Can’t dispute the facts, baby. And you gits can forget the whole “learn to be a little more personable” thing. FUCK that. If I were a little more personable, I would have to make an effort to find redeeming qualities among the greater population.

I just can’t bend the pitch of my standards enough. And I am NOT SORRY.

 
|| August 22, 2000 || 1:12 am || Comments (0) ||

“Well, once again I am angry and without…”

A friend of mine posted that comment on her web journal. It makes me wanna cry.

Wanna know why / Why it makes me wanna cry? / Well I’ll heave a heavy sigh / And once again try to fucking explain…

Lemme give you some background:
It has been my experience as of late that others my age or thereabouts pretty much fall into two distinct categories:
a) those not worthy of speaking to (and don’t you start your railing-against-me-and-my-elitist-tendencies bullshit, okay? Take it up with my father…he is the one that stoked the shit as I was learning to string syllables) and
b) those of us, like the pal I mentioned previously, who are “angry and without”.

See, this is the thing…we don’t always know that we are angry and without. The without is definitely the variable in this particular equation, i.e. “I am without gas, so I can’t go anywhere (literally? theoretically? read in to it all ye wanteth, oh thou gentlest of readers)”, “I am without a decent job that fulfills me and makes use of my God-givens”, “I am without motivation, so what the fuck?” and so on and so forth. Just fill in the little blank after the word ‘without’ and there you have it. Angst made to order.

The anger part is the catch. We piddle along, snatching moments of joy (and don’t get me WRONG, that is as it SHOULD BE) and the anger sits dismissed in a colorless corner like a petulant child. We forget because we can and because we have to, because it would make us eating-mashed-bananas-drawing-on-the-walls-with-fecal-matter loony. Batshit. Crazed out of our motherfucking gourds with the intensity of it.

And then SHAZAM!!!!, somebody or something reminds us of it. It’s as simple as this: me in my jammies, cramming down Wheaties with granola and American Lit notes while carrying on a conversation. All of the sudden I am told, “You are just so fucking angry.” Whoa. Hold on. Wait a minute. You’re right….I am angry. “Thanks for reminding me. Now hand me that pen; I have a letter to write. What exactly was that editor’s address??”

Tell me one more time–what is our purpose?

 
|| August 16, 2000 || 5:48 pm || Comments (0) ||

I already had a loathing/distaste for The Gap. With the advent of their newest ad campaign, it is now nothing short of MASSIVE.

Surely to God if you have a television, watch it a little and are not comatose, you have seen these really annoying snippets of retail pimping courtesy of the great conglomerate of textile that is The Gap. They feature kids doing a mock-up performance of “You Really Got Me” (Oh, thou stinky defilers of this monstrous rock classic!!). One is a prepubescent grrl band and the other is a poorly choreographed (as well as executed) boy band (prepubescent as well).

Not only do these commercials SUCK, they are in heavy rotation and seem to be on my television every 30 minutes when it is up and running (I am one of those retards that leave it on for the background noise).

Of course, I object on the whole “HEY PEDOPHILES, looky here!!!” level. Mostly I just object because they are crappily done on the audiovisual level and they are dull, dull, DULL.

Hey Gap, you suck. Fire your kitschy ad jerkoffs. They are raping your checkbook. They have effectively killed any chance that I might peel off some greenbacks if I were ever to accidentally stumble into your retail space after having been clubbed on the head or drugged at a fratboy watering hole.

I hate you, Gap. I really, really do. Child labor wasn’t enough for ya? You just HAD to find another venue to exploit ‘em in?? JEEZUS.

“How would you like it if the tables turned/And we put your kind to death?”
// Red September, “Welcome to the Other Side”

 
|| August 13, 2000 || 5:11 pm || Comments (0) ||

My mommy is here for a visit. YAYYAYYAY! She is a very nifty and wicked-vicious cool person to shoot the shit with. Perhaps I will set up an advice column of her very own. She will throw mondo counsel your way in 40 words or less (her pat style) and tell you to use it or don’t, but you asked. For those in dire need/straits, she will smack you upside the head and tell you to wise the hell up. She gives great hugs, too, but those are reserved for her babies (ME!) and her grandbabies.

Yesterday was passed with laid-backness and good conversation….last night was cartoons with the kiddos (mom has decided she likes The Rugrats and SpongeBob Squarepants very muchly). A quote: “Those PowerPuff Girls, I dunno…” Tomorrow is reserved for prowling the countryside and searching out the area’s ‘eccentricities’ (to be read, ‘Redneck Folklore Spots and Accompanying Handicrafts’). Today we went in search of stores to throw money at (Gawd, I love the stock market and her involvement in it!).

After shopping all day, I booted up and ended up reading lots of the articles contained here. YES, this is a problem I have long been aware of. YES, I very much do my part to combat it. I still always feel the tug of guilt, though. I feel remorse and sadness and disgust that these will never play as hard as they work.

Don’t get me wrong….I am not in favor of socialism. I am, however, in favor of fair labor standards (ones that DON’T allow children to be exploited). I am in favor of everyone getting their chance at their piece of the pie or the brass ring or the house with suitable living conditions, whichever they choose. As much as people annoy me, I still root for humanity. Go figure.

On the lighter side, I stumbled across this quote, and it is worthy of re-publishing here:

Q: anything on your mind?

A: adventure, excitement, a jedi craves not these things…but he does crave pussy

Amen. Pass the peaches.

 
|| July 23, 2000 || 10:15 pm || Comments (0) ||

Red wine does funny things to my senses.

I was dancing with myself on the balcony, allowing the music in my head to murmur throughout my body. I love this state of self-contained beauty, where everything just belongs to the moment. I writhe and I breathe and it is delightfully pagan. It’s easy to forget him standing over there, just outside the squares of light careening off of the french doors. It’s easy to not remember that he is as absorbed as I am, for similar and dissimilar reasons….this dichotomy is pulpy and delicious.

Life itself is in those moments between what we experience and what we choose to dismiss from recollection.

And the stories, fuck me, the stories!